So it’s that time of the year again! Recently I celebrated my 24th birthday and since I’ve turned 21, I’ve written an annual list of all the lessons I have learned. Here is this year’s list:
1. Let it go! Whether you’re holding onto someone, something that’s happened in your day or obsessing over that random person that was rude to you for no reason – just take a deep breathe and focus on something else. Holding onto unnecessary drama weighs you down. This also encompasses forgiveness for those who have hurt you and being able to heal.
2. Learn how to handle conflict and having hard conversations in a mature way – whether it’s dealing with conflict at work or having a conversation with a friend about something they need to work on. Contrary to popular belief, giving the silent treatment isn’t actually an acceptable form of communication.
3. Stop being so much in your head and your thoughts – the best way to prepare for any moment is to be conscious in the present. This is from Deepak Chopra’s Seven Spiritual Laws of Success and I’d highly recommend reading it.
4. Spend as much time in nature and go on weekend adventures. Especially when I sit in an office for 5 days a week, I treasure the time I get to spend outdoors and I definitely need to do this more.
5. This year I’ve been actively learning about neuroscience and psychology. I’ve learned that you need to take care of your brain (which includes your mental health) – it’s so important to get enough sleep, eat healthy and exercise! This also means to continually challenge yourself mentally – maybe learn a new language or take up a new hobby. I’d recommend reading ‘The Brain That Changes Itself’ by Norman Doidge to learn more about this topic!
6. Trust and have faith in the universe and/or God. Yes, sometimes shit happens but that’s life and the energy of the world. Sometimes you will question why things are the way they are but you need to have faith that everything will come together how it’s meant to.
7. Learn how to love yourself and be okay with being alone. I’m still working on this one. I’ve realised that I like being alone with myself but I need to work on being alone in public settings. I want to be able to go to a cafe or go on an adventure in the city on my own and cherish my time with myself without consciously noticing couples or groups of people. Check out this Poosh article that explains it better.
8. Start everyday with positive affirmations! A few months ago, I wrote down in my notes some daily reminders for myself and some goals I want to achieve in the short term. I read this every morning – it keeps me on track and reminds me on what I’m working towards.
9. I swear I write this every year (lol) but somehow I’m always reminded that relationships (including friendships) might not always work out the way you want them to. If that person doesn’t value you enough, the position you wanted them to fill is for someone more deserving of it. I’ve also learnt that not everyone has a “soulmate” and that’s okay too. Love comes in so many different forms – it’s in your friends and your family as well and it doesn’t need to come from one main person.
10. Don’t believe everything you think and be more aware of your thoughts. The other day I caught myself thinking some negative thoughts about myself but I know that those thoughts weren’t actually true and I just needed to remind myself of that.
11. Practice the law of attraction – put positive energy out in the universe ✨ you attract what you put out. Focus on reacting to negative experiences with positivity! Instead of saying “sorry I’m late”, try saying “thank you for waiting for me”.
12. Stop comparing yourself to others. This one’s also a continual process for me. Realise that everyone has their own values & goals. You might value spending your money on travelling and someone else might want to spend their money on a car. The same thing goes for expectations that come along with age. Everyone has their own path and you don’t need to define yours based on societal expectations of careers and relationships.
13. Find the best out of each day and do something small that makes you happy each day. Watch the sunset, listen to your favourite music – it all adds up.
14. It’s important to know your boundaries. In the past, I’ve been guilty of accepting situations and behaviours that have definitely crossed my boundaries and I’ve been getting better at setting what I will and won’t accept.
15. Meditate! I only started meditating a year ago and it’s helped to deal with stressful work days and life in general. I use the Headspace app and it helps me calm down my mind when I feel overwhelmed.
16. Learn about everything and anything that you can. I started listening to podcasts this year and my favourites are Jay Shetty, The Goop & She’s On The Money. I’ve been able to learn about where emotions come from, ways you can invest your money and how to be more productive at work.
17. Try not to worry about the future, focus on your goals and accept uncertainty as part of the human experience. There’s always a way to get to where you want but sometimes you just need to be patient.
18. Vulnerability – learn to share your thoughts with the RIGHT people who you trust. This is so important. Not everyone is the right person to vent to.
19. Trust your gut instinct. This one’s making another appearance on the list this year which means I haven’t truly mastered this skill yet! Sometimes you feel like something’s going on and you don’t know exactly what but you dismiss it. Yeah, that’s when you need to trust your gut.
20. Practice gratitude. Be thankful for all of your good and your bad experiences because in the end, you’ve learnt something from all of these experiences. I use the Five Minute Journal to keep track of 3 things I’m grateful for each morning and the 3 amazing things that have happened that day.
21. I try to exercise 3 times a week and sometimes it doesn’t happen. I’ve learned that it’s okay to skip a workout (on occasion) and I need to be less hard on myself about it. It’s about keeping a balance between what’s healthy and what makes me happy.
22. Make sure your happiness isn’t conditional upon the behaviour of other people!
23. Social media breaks are actually the best thing ever. I have gone on quite a few breaks this year and it’s been really refreshing. You get so much time back in your day that you can spend investing into yourself rather than other people.
24. When someone shows you their true colours, don’t try to repaint them. You just gotta say bye b**** and move on!
Featured image by Cyle De Guzman on Unsplash
Perspectives of Pav 